Having started a new life in a new city twice within the past two years I know about the challenges of making friends as an adult. Let’s face it, once we’ve left campus it becomes so much harder to make new friends – whether we still live in our hometowns or not.

Free time is not as abundant anymore and where else than at work do you see people on a regular basis? Okay, good for you if you are a soccer player or the like – but if you are not a team sport aficionado or a book club person or simply can not commit to weekly obligations my reporting from the front might be of interest to you.

Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

Hone your friend radar.

It might seem awkward to approach making new friends like dating, but I’m convinced that especially in the first phase after your arrival in a new city it speeds things up a bit.

So – now don’t laugh – where ever I go I would screen the place for friend material. Because new friends can literally wait at the bus stop (and so can dates, I have proof – but that’s another story) And that’s when the next step comes in:

Be bold.

I admit, it takes even more courage to go up to a complete stranger and ask them if they want to be your friend than asking them out on a date. And so far I have only done it once. But I try to seize the opportunities and not let people who I had a pleasant interaction with and who I think are potential friend material (see first point) walk off without exchanging contacts.

The latest thing I did along those lines: One of my favorite blogs recently did a home tour of a DC apartment and Amira who lives in the apartment mentioned that she finds it hard to find community here in DC. She seemed like a really cool person so I decided to write her an email. Turns out a couple of other women did the same thing and that’s how a group of strangers ended up having brunch together at Amira’s place yesterday. (Where I snapped the picture above) I’m really curious where this is going; We decided to make a whatsapp group and have another gathering in a months time. We’ll see.

Put yourself out there.

Here in the US I find it pretty easy to go to an event by myself without knowing anyone there. And while in Switzerland if you’d go somewhere alone you most likely wouldn’t meet anyone, I find that here no one thinks you’re a weirdo just because you’re there by yourself and it’s very easy to strike up a conversation.

Now when I say it’s fairly easy that doesn’t mean I don’t have to convince myself to do it. Because obviously, putting yourself out there means leaving your comfort zone. But I have made two dear friends on evenings like this which works as an encouragement to go to all the other events out there.

A particularly good event to meet people is Creative Mornings. It’s a series of monthly talks on Friday mornings combined with a little breakfast. It was founded by Tina Roth-Eisenberg, a Swiss who emigrated to New York way back in the days. In the meanwhile it has become so successful that they have expanded all over the globe. So most likely there is a Creative Mornings near you and you should check it out.

Give it time.

Building friendships takes time. If you happen to land in a city where you don’t know anyone that sucks a little, sure. But think of it this way: You will never have so much time on your hands once you’ll have a full fledged social circle. Between brunch, birthday celebrations, dinner parties and work – where will you ever find the time to just think? To wander around the neighborhood (possibly in your pajamas – because who could you meet that you’d know?)? I try to savor these moments when everything still feels so new. Nothing is everyday life yet. It’s like the first couple of months of a relationship, including all the insecurities and awkwardness.

The friendships will come eventually.

Oh and one last thing:

In case you already have a social circle whereever you are: Why not make it a point to invite people who are new to the city to your gatherings? You can be sure to make that someone very happy.